Tali's Metal
by Omega6047
Summary: As Commander Shepard is about to go to the engineering deck to talk with Tali, he is greeted with the entire deck in chaos. Everyone, including Adams, is laughing their asses off, while Tali oblivious to all that, listens to some music. Contains mild shipping.


Life of commander Shepard was never easy.

Childhood on Earth's streets, Massacre on Akuze, training to become N7, all of that prevented him from ever simply sitting back and relaxing more often then not. And now on top of all that he's the first human Spectre, hunting a rouge Spectre with an army of robots by his side. With eyes of all of humanity and more set on him and the expectations set for him, it's gotten even harder for him to get some actual rest.

Most of the time he's moving his ship all over the damn galaxy, looking for trouble to shoot at while waiting for more intel on Seren's whereabouts or activities. Even time between missions is far from being called 'downtime'. He has duties to fulfill after all, be it paperwork, reporting to council and Alliance or simply making sure everything on the Normandy is running smoothly.

There were two moments when he could say he's relaxing though. When he's asleep - which doesn't happen often as he is mostly running on coffee and stamina boosters despite Chakwas' protests, and when he's talking to the crew. Ground team in particular.

And out of the whole ground team, Tali is the one that has yet to fail in putting a smile on his face.

This fact alone has made inspecting the engineering deck his favorite part of the day. In fact any conversation with the young Quarian seemed to get his spirits up, no matter the mood he was in or the amount of blood he has washed off his armor minutes before. Now was one such moment. Shepard walked out of the Normandy's painfully slow elevator - the one part of the ship he hopes to change the first chance he gets. He had a subtle smile on his face as he walked by several crewmen in the hangar.

He quickly glanced over to Garrus, who was cleaning his gear along with Ashley. It didn't look like either one was particularly happy to be sharing work space with the other, but just the fact that they are willing to do so is enough for Shepard. They used to be at each other's throats almost every time they spoke. _maybe it's time to see how they will work together under fire..._

Wrex on the other hand was just there, seemingly doing nothing.

Shepard knew better though. He's talked with the krogan enough times to know he usually has more on his mind then one would expect, especially after reclaiming his family's armor. "Shepard."

"Wrex." They greeted each other as Shepard passed by. The simple exchange is where their interactions usually end, and this time is no different. Shepard simply moved away, heading straight to the engineering deck, just as a couple of technicians started to leave the deck, ending their shift. There was one thing strange about all that though. Usually when he sees the shifts change on any part of the ship he is met with tired faces of his crew, with the only thing on their minds being to eat something and go to sleep.

But now, every single person coming out of the engineering deck was smiling and laughing out loud. One of them in particular. "Oh my god! Ha Ha Ha! Damn man, I'm glad I came to see you in my free time! That was the most hilarious thing I've seen in _years_!" One of the marines serving on the ship spoke up as he patted his friend on the back. He was much larger then the engineer he was walking beside, and almost knocked him off his feet with that, but that hardly stopped the smaller man from chuckling.

"I never though I would see her do... _this_."

"Man, this is going straight to the Extranet..." The marine said as he glanced down at his omni-tool.

"Shulk, Reyn." Shepard called out to the two. They immediately halted and turned themselves to their commanding officer.

"Commander." Both saluted, but neither was able to fully wipe grins of their faces. "How can we help you?"

"Well, You can start by telling me what made you laugh so hard. I was going to inspect the deck and talk to Tali, but-" Suddenly the two burst out laughing.

"I-I'm sorry-" The smaller one - Shulk, tried to explain as he held his stomach. Reyn was downright crying as he leaned against the wall for support. "I-It's just that-" He failed to find words again.

"I-It would be better if commander saw himself, right?" Reyn suggested, just barely able to contain his laughter, and allowing it to burst out again once he was done speaking. He wiped his tears away with his hand and slowly started to calm himself down with slow breaths.

"W-We're really sorry commander." Shulk spoke up, able to get control over himself faster then his friend. Though, that is not to say his face went back to 'better be serious, your commanding officer is talking to you' mode.

It's a good thing Shepard wasn't one to get mad over stuff like that. To an extent of course. "Don't sweat it kid. Go get some sleep and I'll see what the fuss is all about." He said with a smile and turned towards the engineering as the two walked away. He still heard a bit of their conversation.

"You know, I actually wonder if there is anything between him and Tali." Shulk said, immediately returning Shepard's attention to them.

"What do ya mean?"

"I don't know they just seem to kinda... fit together, you know? And she keeps giving him those looks. The 'love-struck high school girl' ones."

"Aaaaaaa~~ You mean the ones Melia is giving you all the time?" They left Shepard's hearing range. The last thing he saw before they also left his sight was Shulk blushing. _Hmmm... Me and Tali, huh? Can't say I'd be opposed to the idea, but... As much as I hate to admit it the suit would get in the way sooner or later._

While Shepard could confidently say he really likes her as a person, the suit itself seems to be preventing him from allowing those feelings to take hold. The fact that he has next to no idea of how Quarians even look seems to subconsciously make him hold back. He was not the kind of guy believing he can just look past the appearance like many do. He needed to feel attraction first, and the suit, while giving him a really enjoyable look at her curves, did not allow that.

And it's not like there was any way for him to find out for himself. The Extranet has been filled with so many lies and misinformation about Quarians that it's impossible to actually confirm anything. The supposed photographs of suit-less Quarians range from showing them as beings rivaling Asari in beauty to making them look like some grotesque tentacle monsters. The truth was somewhere in between those, but the only way for him to find out was to ask Tali herself to show him, which is out of the question as it has become a very private thing for them over those 300 years.

He sighed, turning back to the engineering deck. He will have time to think about it after Seren is dealt with, now he has more pressing matters at hand. Like seeing what made his man laugh so hard.

With one move of his hand he opened the entrance to the deck and took a peek inside.

Suffice to say, it was chaos. absolutely no one was doing what they were suppose to be. Not even Adams. The chief engineer was laughing his ass of along with others, only managing a weak 'I'm sorry' once he saw him enter.

Normally, seeing something like this Shepard would... get mad (to say the least). He can be pretty laid back with his crew, but this is beyond what he can look past.

However, the situation on the engineering deck hardly counted as normal. Before he could say anything, he heard something. Singing.

He turned his head towards the sound, and his jaw almost immediately met the floor. The source of the singing was none other then Tali herself. Again, if that was a normal situation, he would have just leaned back against the wall and enjoyed. He's often heard her singing when taking a shower (as one might imagine, getting prepared for that takes her a while), and he had to admit, she had quite the voice. Despite not understanding a word of what she was singing about, as all of that was in Keelish and he would always turn off his personal translator to not let it ruin the experience.

Now she wasn't singing in her native language. She was singing in English. She was always pretty good at mimicking other sounds, alien languages among them, even if she didn't knew what they meant. Her accent got in the way a bit, but for the most part it was the same near-angelic singing he and a large portion of the crew have been listening to whenever she was in the shower. There was one thing wrong though. One thing that instead of calming hearts of battle-hardened soldiers and melting their souls, has turned them into a bunch of laughing idiots.

 _...You've been tracked~, you've been seen~  
Murdering the next of kin~  
Ate their hearts, drank their blood~  
Washed your fins in blackened mud~  
Now you swim, try to hide~  
Heart beats faster from inside~  
Thought it was a big charade~  
Your life was ended by mermaids... _

Once the initial surprise has worn off, Shepard realized that a smile is growing on his face. Tali soon started to sing another song, lightly bobbing her head to the music that was playing inside of her helmet from an old music player that was attached to it with a wire. He recognized those songs. They were from those old songs his sister Jane gave to him when they were refueling the ship on Earth. She really liked old heavy music. Shepard listened to some of them during the little free time he had, but never got into anything.

He was going to give Jane her music player back, but he soon found it missing to his surprise. It seems that the mystery has been solved, though.

Shepard quickly started to join the entire engineering deck in laughing as Tali continued.

 _...Reality hit me hard 'cause there's a problem that,_  
 _I'm scared to describe~_  
 _My prom queen changed into a granny that night~_  
 _Saggy tits, fake teeth, scared the shit out of me~_  
 _Oh~, I fucked a zombie barbie~_  
 _Please~ God~ Help~ Me~_  
 _'Cause she makes me feel like I never felt before~_  
 _It's hard to admit she made me feel like a man~_  
 _And it's still disgusting, but I don't give a..._

 _Does she even realize what those songs are about? Probably not._ They've actually tried to teach one another their respective languages once. He had some success with hers, but she... just didn't. She might be a genius when it comes to electronics and machinery, an exceptional fighter, and not so bad dancer, but languages? No.

The effect of that was showing right now. She had absolutely no idea what the songs she is listening to are about.

Either because she has disabled her translator, or because the translator itself is rigged to detect and not translate songs. Something that seems likely, as she personally modified many programs that are running on her suit, translator included.

Shepard's laughter was getting louder, as was the other's watching Tali's show. "She probably doesn't even know she's singing!" Someone said, recording the whole ordeal with an omni-tool. And he was right. Tali doesn't know that she's singing, not even when taking a shower. She seemed more confused than anything when he mentioned that to her once. She had absolutely no idea and Shepard was glad to keep her in the dark. If it meant hearing her beautiful voice singing again, it was worth it...

 _...Right now~ Can't find a way to get across the hate when I see you~  
Right now~ I'm feeling strange Inside, I wanna slash and beat you~  
Right now~ I'll rip apart the things inside that excite you~  
Right now~ I can't control myself, I fucking hate you... '_

...That, or he might just be hoping to hear more of that.

Not that it's likely though. She's going to the new star of the Extranet by tomorrow.

 _Hmm... It might actually be a good idea to stop her... as much as I hate to. The ship can't run like that forever after all._ Still laughing, Shepard slowly started to approach the quirky Quarian. "Hey, Tali." He called out, but she didn't hear. She just kept bobbing her head as she worked on... whatever it was that she did on the ship. He didn't know, he was no engineer.

Shepard was about to reach out to her and tap her shoulder, but that didn't happen. Tali has delivered thew final blow. One that would bring the great commander Shepard to his knees.

 _...War~  
Fuck the system~  
War~  
Fuck the system~  
Fuck the system~  
War~  
Fuck the system~  
War~  
I need to fuck the Sys~  
I need to fuck the Sys~  
I need to fuck the Sys... _

He cracked. The instant he heard those words leave her mouth, his laughter rang throughout the whole ship. Tears started to flow from his eyes as he held his stomach as he kept going. Everyone on the deck has turned their attention on him as he started to roll on the floor, even Tali.

"What's wrong Shepard? Why is everyone laughing?"

* * *

Songs used(in order):

Death Clock - Murmaider  
Eskimo Callboy - Blood Red lips  
KoЯn - Right Now  
System of a Down - Fuck the System


End file.
